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Q.I have been watching a program on fatherhood. This is the second fathers day I have had to be separated from my 2 sons and 2 daughters. Back on March 2, 1999 my ex-wife forcefully removed my children from their private Christian school. She then went to the courts and got custody through a restraining order, which has has kept me and my extended family from contacting my children. They are now living with their mom and her boyfriend. I have always been very involved with my children, from our membership in our church, scouts, school and many other family activities. I have gone through 3 (non-Christian) lawyers and am now currently fighting in the state Oregon Appeals/Supreme courts. Needless to say, I am not getting a fair shake presenting my own case Can anyone give me some advice???

A.The fact you are even trying to present your own case makes me wonder about your whole story. No court in this world will lean toward any father without major legal help. Actually I personally know 2 fathers who, in the last 20 years had much better results representing themselves then when they used lawyers. That's just antedoctal, true. But I just wanted to state that there are cases where self-representation does work better. My husband tried representing himself briefly and it didn't work at all for him. IMO, the big reason lawyers don't fight zealously for men is that most lawyers get their *big* bread and butter sandwhiches by representing women in family court. After all the ex-husband is usually *ordered* to pay her fees. If they represent the husband that *order* for payment is not made and they might have to work harder to get payment from a man who doesn't have any money left after the ex-wife has taken him to the cleaners. Also, because lawyers represent women in other cases in family court, they don't want to agitate the judges, commissioners, social workers, GALs, therapists, etc., etc., etc. when representing a man. If they piss these court *people* off representing a man, they can jeopardize getting along with them when representing a woman in family court tomorrow. That could mean a loss of big bucks to the attorney.

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